Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Summer :)

Jacob on the Beach July 4th
Jacob and his BIG SMILE :)

Here Mommy! Gio on the Beach July 4th 2009


Gio Walking to the Water July 4th 2009



Lovin our Adirondack Chairs! 2009




I am trying to just keep things updated on here as far as what my children look like for you.
Other than that, I just don't have time/energy/words for all the ways our life is just different with 18 months old in it.
They babble and giggle, and walk and hand things to each others, grab nuks from each other, share some days, steal each other's graham crackers the next.
They are funny and introspective, they love Noggin and the horses that they can rock on and sing. They adore music, can *try* to do "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" and will ask you to sing it again and again by saying.."mo" (More)

they call every single animal "dak" (Dog) and chase Fenton around the house....it's cute and warms my heart.
Life is chaotic and busy, frustrating and exciting and OMG do I love the little babies that are turning into Little boys while I watch.

Hope summer is going well for all of you.





















Tuesday, May 05, 2009

MORE PICTURES!!! (cause you deserve it) :)

Daddy and Gio...hanging out !

Jacob and his first haircut, NOT LIKING IT :)

Gio's first Haircut, doing better than we imagined



Jacob in March 2009 (love this pic)



Jacob at Easter with Peter Cottentail..we sing that song A LOT in our house lately




Gio & Mommy, what a cutie!


So there you have it! I promise to try a little harder to post, but for those of you wondering where I am, I'm here...and hoping all of you are doing really well.
*hugs*


Really Feb??

Gio in March
Our family at Ben's Wedding

Ben and Emily


Gio in Florida (Oct 08) but I love the pic



the boys at the wedding, what a pic!




Seriously, I haven't posted since Feb. I don't have much to say, well I have TONS to say, but really it's day to day stuff, it's mommy stuff, it's wife stuff, it's "OMG, the twins are 13, 14, 15 and now 16 months old" stuff and honestly I'm not quite sure you want to hear about it.

Also, on Feb 26th, our boss and the girl who works in our office were layed off, leaving me and another girl to take care of 184 offices daily and in the middle of a major conversion to another vendor. To say that things HERE are chaotic is an understatment. To say that about home is a joke and not a very funny one. LOL. Things at home are in lockdown, because everyone is :

WALKING
BABBLING
GRABBING
HITTING EACH OTHER WITH FULL SIPPY CUPS OF MILK (On the HEAD)
FALLING DOWN
GETTING OUR FIRST HAIRCUTS
DANCING AND BEING "TOO CUTE" DOING IT
ENJOYING THE BACKYARDIGANS AND THE WONDER PETS (they Love Noggin)
GIGGLING
CRYING
NOT SLEEPING
TEETHING
DIAPER RASHING FROM HELL
LEARNING TO SAY THINGS LIKE "UH OH" and "NO!"
and that's just Mr Kir and me,,,you should see what the babies are doing! :)

In the past two months:
Mr Kir Painted our Kitchen and then started painting our living room
My SIL bought a new house and my MIL moved in with her
Then about 5 weeks ago , my MIL fell and broke her hip...she is home now and recovering nicely...
My baby brother got married to a gorgeous girl and I got a New "sister"
Mr Kir became addicted to Facebook (like I said he would)
and so if any of you can figure out whom I am in real life then please come find me there, LOTS OF PICS...I promise.


We had the 15 month appt with both on Friday and outside of an ear infection in Gio and constant snot and coughing in both of them, they are just ducky!
I saw the neurologist and the headaches are getting a little better w/o meds. I take a LOT OF MOTRIN and 3 Xan*ax a day, but honestly they help more than anything else they tried. So of the meds were Um, HIDEOUS! In June I will see the "headache specialist" and maybe try counseling and a chirpractor to help. We'll see.
My MOM had a major surgery on Thurs last week and she is ok, but I am still praying, that it worked. She is sore and is going to be for a while, but at least it's over.
We are all looking forward to summer, nothing big planned until a vacation in the Fall, but thinking that this summer will be more fun.
and just because I haven't posted a whole boatload of photos for you above!
and I'll post again with some more!!!











Tuesday, February 17, 2009

5 Questions :)

So, I'm addicted to Facebook and even that I can't keep up with. I haven't read blogs or anything else in so long that I feel all kinds of left out of everything. Here at work, things are chaotic, our new conversion means TONS of work and no time to do things like I am doing right now and really how much can I tell you about our kids?



My birthday came and went, Valentine's day too and through it all, I am so thankful to have all my "guys" but I really need a break people. I am exhausted all the time, the headaches don't help so when they come I am miserable but I still have tons of things to do at work, at home, etc and I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and I hate that. I hate that for the 4 yrs that we tried to have a baby, that we got blessed with two that are miracles , miracles!!!!! and I just can't seem to find time to just ENJOY them. Truth be told I am not enjoying anything anymore, even trips to the mall (my mecca of joy) are just a PITA lately. It's embarrassing and humbling. It's enough to make an IF wonder if even this is another test of faith, can I be a good mommy, a good wife, a good worker and still have enough left over to just be Kir again? It's a question that I don't have an answer for yet. I'm getting there. Just not yet.





The thing is, that things change every single day, there are little funny stories Every single day. Like now, how when you say Hello in the house (and believe me , we say it more now just to see him do it) Jacob puts his hand up to his ear and lets out a "da". " "his hello" I am presuming" it's so frickin cute, I can't tell you. Or how Gio is walking now, WALKING. On those big chunky monkey legs and thighs. It's amazing, but really who cares but me, Mr Kir and my mom????


They are eating some big people food, they know how to use a sippy cup, they can communicate in ways that are hilarious to me and they have discovered in each other, a soul mate, a friend, a playmate, when they are not hitting each other with the drumsticks from the P*ar*ents drum set. HA. It's so cool.

then, just when I was getting used to some things, this morning, they moved to the Toddler I room. And I have just been sitting here at work saying, "it's just a new room, no big deal" but the more I say it in the my head, the more I realize what a big deal this is. It's Toddler I, they went from the Infant Room to Toddler I. Much like I went from Infertile to Pregnant with Twins, as much as I felt like I belonged in both places when it was time to be there, the more I realized that I was never comfortable being IF or Pregnant and now Mommyhood feels that way too.





So yeah, my infants are toddlers and will walk to a new room now and I just need some time and space to let that adjustment happen in my head and heart. Let's just hope it happens before they get ready to ask me for car keys.





Ms B was kind enough to help me and my pathetic blogging by posing 5 questions which I will answer now, thank you B, maybe it will inspire me to write more often. :)

1. What are you doing today?
well my body is here at work, getting a lot done, but my mind and heart are at daycare, hoping that my little guys are adjusting well to their first day in a new room. I can't wait to see them and hug them up. Tonight we are getting our taxes done. Let's hope our little "tax deductions" work out for us!!! :)





2. What did you do on your day off from work?


well it was supposed to be a really fun day, we got up and I decided to check my email and ended up "working" for two hours which had Mr Kir in a very understandable tizzy , took the boys to daycare and had grand plans for lots of things and it ended up being a day of shopping for everyone but us, running errands and us saying well at least we have "Friday off too for My birthday"...we ended up NOT taking Friday off for reasons I cannot go into here because my brain will explode and by the time we picked up the kids I was exhausted and felt like I hadn't relaxed at all. That wasn't a nice day off at all was it???? :(



3. What is the most memorable thing to happen to you when you were lost?

this is a hard one because I am trying to decide how to answer this :from an emotional or physical point. Emotionally, the most memorable thing is actually getting pregnant. At the time of the IVF I felt lost, out of place, there were no signs anymore pointing me to anything but more heartache and despair. I truly felt like I didn't know where I was anymore. So to get pregnant after that felt like you do when you finally see a landmark on your favorite corner in town. You know where you are, and even disoriented , you know you might just be on your way home.



Physically lost, well let's see. I hate being lost and I have a lousy sense of direction. But I must say that my first year in ATown when I moved there, not knowing a soul or the way to the mall(ha) , I had lots and lots of nights of driving around trying to find things and then trying to find my way back. What's memorable about all those times was that instead of being afraid (and I was) I tried to remember that sooner or later I'd get home. To follow my instincts and try not to panic. I went farther and farther from my safe places and paid attention to landmarks etc, I learned to find my way home. It sounds so silly, but for me it was about making this new place, my new place if I was going to stick it out and stay. Here I am 10 yrs later and have helped Mr Kir find out way back from plenty of places too.



4. What are your top three tips for a well lived life?
1. Find the love of your life, it doesn't have to be a person (but it helps) and be good to each other. I have found that when I stopped looking for a perfect partner, a perfect life, a fairytale and just let myself love Mr Kir with all our imperfections that life got so much better. It must be true that people in love live longer, are healthier etc, because I feel that some days, like I'm home. However if the love of your life is gardening or writing or books or flying a plane or your friends , just let yourself drown in it. Love it wholly and without any restrictions or strings. This goes for your family and friends too, get rid of junk and embrace the people who make you better.

2. Find something you like about yourself at least once a week. I learned this because I am always looking at what is "wrong" with me, my weight, my hair, my impatience and I was focusing on those things that I didn't like and that I perceived others didn't either. I'm not always good about doing it, but when I do I remind myself of my GOOD attributes and try to focus on them. I try to see myself the way that people who love me (see above) do and work to be that person a little more every day.

3. believe in something bigger than yourself. It doesn't have to be G*od, although for me it is. I think it helps to have someone to talk to when you have no where else to turn, when you are quiet and meditative. Belief and Faith are the cornerstones of so many things; that I have to believe that when you allow yourself to believe in something bigger, smarter and kinder than you out there, you'll find those things in yourself. Plus, when the whole world feels like it's turned it's back on you, it's always nice to think that there is someone who loves you just the way you are and forgives your imperfection. For me that is my relationship with my higher power, who I call Go*d. Plus it helps to believe in forgiveness for things. Because it's been hard for me to forgive myself for so many things, it helps that He might with little explanation.

5. Are the tips above ones you would have given 10 yrs ago? If not, what's changed?

I think that they would have been similar, but 10 yrs ago I didn't have Mr Kir in my life and I hadn't really struggled with anything but my own decisions of my 20's. I have always turned to Go*d, even when I hated him for having us struggle so long with our IF. I always turned to him. But the other two, I didn't know those things yet and I had long suffered with my own insecurity about what kind of person I am/was. I think I want to go back and give these things to my 29 yr old self and let her know that it's ok. Well not all of it, but it's getting there. She's ok, she's happy and a mommy and whatever life has to show her, the lesson is worth the tears she'll shed getting there.

thanks B, I learned something about myself and I blogged. You Rock!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wordless Wednesday: Look Out Clip Clop ...here we come !!!!


Just because I love this picture. It's one of my favorites. I got these ponies for my shower from a friend I've had since Kindergarten, to think that they are big enough to sit on them is truly amazing.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The SNOWMAN party!!!!

Gio *after the party*
The Cake was as good as it looks !!!


Jacob and the Snowman (woman)

Giovanni and the Snowman (woman)




(oooh cupcakes...they liked the icing..sort of..haha)


So it's been a long week since our Party Sunday. My only words are "Thank goodness it's over!!!"

It's was lots of work and so just knowing that we did it, the boys had fun, the snowman was a hit and we got to see some people we haven't seen for quite a while was a real thrill.
The best part of the party was us watching everyone make such a big deal out of the birthday boys. Truly, they are so loved and everyone (including our 4 teenage nieces on John's side) vying for holding rights. One of the little girls of a long time friend of John's is now 3 and was actually kissing my Gio. He is such a flirt to begin with, but to watch her fall in love with him was the cutest thing ever.
They both, of course, made out like bandits. I thought our house looked like Gymbo*re*e before, now we could rival TRU!!! :) Yet, we feel so blessed to have our kiddos loved like that. My mom was a smitten grandma, the little kids at the party truly enjoyed our Magical and dancing snowman who made Balloon animals and did one trick over and over so every little girl got a chance. I got to hugs friends I haven't seen in a long time and overall it was a happy, happy day. I have lately been saying things like "I can't believe these babies are here, and now they are 1".
some updates, my headaches are on and off, but I am learning to manage with meds. Also one of the meds I am only taking when I absolutely need it and not daily anymore. Once I cleared that with my neurologist I lost 12 lbs in about 2 weeks. Which is keeping me happier, because I was really feeling down. On myself, on life.
I was so upset about Emilie's passing(and wrote a huge post that I just can't click publish too because it makes me cry each time I read it. Her death hit me very hard that last week of Dec and even today I "talk" to her often. When I am rocking the boys at night before bed, I often ask her to "sit with me and give me patience and strength, be my guardian angel. I wrote to her about a month before her passing and told her how much she meant to me and I am just so glad I wrote that email when she could read it, it lessens the pain but I am still shaken by how quickly she was gone ) and just the stress of raising twins that I was having a lot of down days. I was cut off from a lot of my online support when work blocked one of my favorite message boards and things around here (work) are chaotic. We are sooooo busy, so busy that I probably shouldn't be trying to post here today but I am trying to get you some pictures and play a little catch up today. It is FRIDAY after all.
But 2009 started a little better. I am back in a nice size in clothes again, my kiddos turned 1. Jacob is really, really, really walking and Gio stood in the middle of the living room on Sun night for 3 seconds all by himself (which is how Jacob stared), so I am thinking that Gio is going to doing the "frankens*tein walk anyday now too. It's so cute to see their little personality grow and develop. We switched to milk from Formula, we see the dr next Friday for their 1 yr appt. They are taking a bath in the BIG TUB together and love it, Gio splashes and splashes and giggles until all four of us are soaked and laughing our heads off. It is good times. We are struggling with table foods, they seem to like baby food more. They do however, love arr*owr**t cookies and graham crackers, they are learning about the sippy cup and well, I'm not pushing things, they try at daycare with new foods. Most days they refuse the hotdog or mac & cheese but all in all , they'll get there and I know that. No use worrying about stuff like that, the baby food has lots of good stuff in it and I know they'll be exposed to more stuff all the time, so we'll keep going until we get there. They are also in transition from the Infant room to Toddler I, so they are sleeping on mats instead of cribs and getting used to a more structured schedule. there is just so much going on, but it doesn't seem like blog worthy stuff.

so above are some of the pics from the PARTY , enjoy. Next week, I will post the pics from their professional session and tell you the story of the "cake" then too.







Have a great weekend!!!

Monday, January 05, 2009

Our Little Snowmen Are 1 !!!




This is just a testament to how chaotic my life is lately. Christmas was nice, but rushed, we ran and ran and ran. What was nice??? Seeing everyone make such a big deal out of the oodle twins and enjoying them so much. They got great gifts and lots & lots & lots of love. However, I felt like I was running on empty for most of the two weeks. Go figure. :)
So I have a few minutes and I can't believe I didn't get to do this yesterday, but Giovanni and Jacob turned 1 yesterday. I was teary most of the day, thinking.."I can't believe you are HERE, and now you're 1!!!" It's amazing.

we are having a party for them on Sunday at a local hotel with 57 people invited, a Snowman theme and a Snowman/magician coming that should make the time go by quickly. I am just so happy that we get to spend the day celebrating these two little miracles. In all the chaos lately, I am constantly reminded that it's just an incredible thing that they are here and healthy and well.
They don't have their well baby check for their first year until the 23rd, but I can tell you that as of Wed (when they go their second dose of the flu vac) Gio is 23 lbs and Jacob is 20 lbs. Jacob is walking. Even when you go to put him down, he will normally plant his feet and stay standing. WOW. We call it the "Frankenstein walk" but he is doing so well and prefers walking to crawling most days. Gio is a crawling genius and so fast that I can't catch him some days. He's still a big flirt at daycare and honestly will be walking soon today...he can cruise his way around the big blue plastic buckets that are in our living room now (we put all my pretty baskets in the basement since they were getting too dangerous ) and one of these days he is just going to let go..and well..go :)
They are transitioning from the Infant room at daycare to the Toddler Room 1, we are trying different kinds of foods at home and daycare. While they still do a fair amount of baby food, we've added cookies, yogurt melts, toddler meals etc. They do well one day and not so good the next, but we're getting there. I also started them on Whole Milk during Christmas week, for daycare we mix it with the formula that's left but I haven't bought formula for the past two weeks and when this runs out...well that's it. They are doing really well. They love eggs, scrambled. They enjoy the milk and we're "getting the hang of the sippy cup" too. It's more me not really pushing them, it seems I still think of them as "early twin babies" but lately, I am seeing that they are truly on target with their age and doing so well. So I need to stop treating them like babies. Some days I look at Gio when he is lying on Mr Kir's lap and I realize how long and solid he is and I say "where is my little baby? the one who started at 5 lbs??? "
I don't have any pics from Christmas uploaded...but I promise them once we do. Plus I promise lots of pictures from the "SNOWMAN PARTY" on Sunday. Hoping the snow they are calling for in NJ/PA stays in the 3 inch range and is gone by Sunday morning. I still have sooooo much to do.
I know I sound like so many parents, but wow, where did this year go?? I was thinking all day yesterday that I didn't even get to hold them until the 9th since they were in the NICU and I was in bed (still throwing up) and trying to rest. Now, here we are and they are growing and learning and smiling and oh they have teeth too!!! (see what happens when you don't blog) ....Gio has 6 and Jacob has 4 , all of them literally came out of nowhere, one day you could "feel" them and then there they were.
Seems like our whole year has been like that...surprises every single day.
Hoping that this next year brings much more of them.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Giovanni & Jacob, you (and daddy) are truly the MIRACLES of my life and I love you more and more every day. We are going to have a Super fun time at your snowman party!!!


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS











To all my friends here in blogland, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS.




May you enjoy all the Magic of this Season. All the Wonder. All the Miracles.



Here are some of my favorite pics the last few days....
I think Jacob would have won that stare-down. How about you???